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A Cowboy and Me

by Tammy Gilbert - Story Teller & Published Author, Decorator & Aesthetician

The Rattlesnake

January 14, 2018 by Tammy Gilbert

Have I mentioned my dislike for snakes?  I’m pretty sure I have but in case you missed it…

Tammy DOES NOT LIKE SNAKES!

They slither, they hiss and they give me the heebie jeebies.  I know God had a plan for all of his miracles that He created.  You know  the whole “circle of life” thing.  I know we’re not supposed to question his miracles.  And I also know that snakes eat mice…yada yada yada.  But seriously, snakes?!  This is one miracle I can do without.

Thank goodness for our canine reptile hunter, Maggie.  She can find a snake quicker than I can kick my cheetah print stilettos across the room.

One Sunday afternoon I was de-weeding my flower beds around the side of the house when I hear Maggie barking like crazy.  I’m thinking to myself, way to go Maggie!  She finally one-upped the gecko that taunts her daily. As I’m heading inside to use the ladies room, I glance towards the outdoor kitchen where her bark is coming from.

HOLY MOTHER OF JESUS…

she had a rattlesnake backed into a corner.  I run inside to get my phone and call Cowboy…no answer.  I call Pops…no answer.  I call our boy wonder…

ME:  (out of breath and needing to use the restroom badly) I need you to come here, Maggie found a snake!

BOY WONDER:  Mom, I can’t come help you, I’m working.  Just grab a shovel and kill it.

ME:  WHAT?! What have you been smokin?  Listen dude, THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!  Your boss will understand and if he doesn’t, I’ll write you a note.  This snake is as long as I’m tall!

BOY WONDER:  Really…it’s that long?

ME: Okay, that may be a little exaggerated but I needed to get my point across.  But, I am NOT going to be the one to kill it! So you just need to get here and take care of it!

BOY WONDER:  (chuckling) I can’t come and help you, I’m working.  If you can’t get dad, call Papaw (aka Pops)

Apparently I have lost complete parental control over this kid!

Still doing the potty dance, it suddenly dawns on me that maybe Pops is at home eating lunch.  So I cross my fingers (and legs) and dial his number.

ME: Mother-in-law, I have a situation here at the house, is Pops home?

MOTHER-IN-LAW:  No he’s with Cowboy.  What’s wrong?

ME:  Maggie has a rattlesnake cornered.  I’ve called everyone and either they don’t answer or they’re working.

MOTHER-IN-LAW:  Oh dear. What are you going to do?  Wait…the UPS man is headin your way, flag him down to kill it.

Now I want ya’ll to get a picture of that UPS driver’s face when he sees me running after him with my arms flailing in the air.  I’m pretty sure he would high tail it out of podunk country as fast as that brown truck would take him.

My phone rings and Cowboy’s wranglers pop up on the screen.  Just kidding!  But that is a great idea!  Another thing to add to my to-do list and maybe another story to write about.

COWBOY: I missed your 13 phone calls, are you ok?

ME:  NO I am NOT ok! Maggie has a rattlesnake cornered.  Please come and kill the darn thing.  AND I need to use the restroom really bad so make it snappy!

COWBOY:  (chuckling)  I won’t be home until dark.  Just grab a shovel and kill it.

Seriously!  Just grab a shovel and kill it?!  And this chuckling thing..if Cowboy taught boy wonder how to chuckle, I’m gonna need to hit BOTH of them over the head with one of my dead plants.

So this story ends with me putting my big girl panties on and taking care of the situation.

Okay that’s a lie. Lord, please forgive me.

So, there’s good news and bad news.  The bad news is the snake slithered away and will probably be back to taunt Maggie and I another day.  The good news is… I didn’t wet myself!!

til’ next Sunday ya’ll- Tammy

Filed Under: A Cowboy and Me Blog, Blog

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About Tammy

Hi there- I love sharing my crazy life about living in the middle of Pidcoke, Texas with my Cowboy.  If I'm not scraping the cow poop off of my cheetah print stilettos then you can find me blogging, decorating or helping women feel beautiful at my spa! I hope you enjoy my stories- 𝔁𝓸, 𝓣𝓪𝓶𝓶𝔂 ❥

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tammydalynn

𝕊𝕥𝕠𝕣𝕪 𝕥𝕖𝕝𝕝𝕖𝕣/𝔻𝕖𝕔𝕠𝕣𝕒𝕥𝕠𝕣/𝕊𝕡𝕒 𝕆𝕨𝕟𝕖𝕣💋
Texas girl☀️Passion: Inspiring others thru style & beauty💄In 💜with my Cowboy🧡 Medical Aesthetician🌷

𝒯𝒶𝓂𝓂𝓎 𝒟𝒶𝓁𝓎𝓃𝓃
𝕎𝔸ℂ𝕂𝕐 𝕋𝕆𝔹𝔸ℂ𝕂𝕐 A 𝕎𝔸ℂ𝕂𝕐 𝕋𝕆𝔹𝔸ℂ𝕂𝕐 
And then it happens. Just like it always does when Cowboy is gone overnight… I begin to hear things. Things that go bump in the night. Things that I just know will come inside thru the doggie door and get me. And then I remember ….

I hop off of the couch and head to my bathroom to find what Sweet Girl gave me to sleep. I don’t bother reading the package since she has already instructed me to have only one gummy. I pop one in my mouth.…

𝐕𝐢𝐬𝐢𝐭 𝐦𝐲 𝐰𝐞𝐛𝐬𝐢𝐭𝐞 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐲-

https://www.acowboyandme.com/wacky-tobacky/
Tammy💋#texasromance #lovestory #cowboys #cavenders #wranglers #nfr #rodeo #relationshipgoals
ℍ𝕚𝕤 𝕃𝕖𝕥𝕙𝕒𝕝 𝕎𝕖𝕒𝕡𝕠𝕟

I whiz right thru security and begin to put myself back together. I look over my shoulder to check on Cowboy and I notice that they have pulled him aside after he had gone thru the x-ray machine. I casually walk over to the TSA agents who are speaking to Cowboy.

TSA AGENT #1: Sir, I’m going to need you to step aside for a full body…

𝗩𝗶𝘀𝗶𝘁 𝗺𝘆 𝗯𝗹𝗼𝗴 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗿𝗲𝘀𝘁 𝗼𝗳 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘀𝘁𝗼𝗿𝘆

https://www.acowboyandme.com/his-lethal-weapon/

xo, Tammy💋#cowboys #texasromance #cavenders #wrangler #relationshipgoals #texaslovestory #falllove #lovestory
“𝕋𝕙𝕖𝕪” 𝕚𝕤 𝕡𝕝𝕦𝕣𝕒𝕝

Have ya ever bought something that you are SUPER excited about but thought that maybe your hubby would need a little convincing to share in your excitement? Yeah, I get it... happens to me all of the time. Sooo… we’re in Las Vegas at the NFR and I’m walking out of the "Cowboy Christmas" convention center to meet up with Cowboy. He’s looking me up and down. My mind immediately goes to the ...

𝐕𝐢𝐬𝐢𝐭 𝐦𝐲 𝐛𝐥𝐨𝐠 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐲-

https://www.acowboyandme.com/they-is-plural/
Merry Christmas 🎄 
Tammy💋
#texas #texasromance #lovestory #cavenders #relationshipgoals #cowboys #cowboylove #merrychristmas
Umm… excuse me Mr. Hobby Lobby, If you’re goin Umm… excuse me Mr. Hobby Lobby,
If you’re going to continue selling super cute holiday items… I’m gonna need you to bring in larger shopping carts… there I said it!🎄#acowboyandme #holidaycheer #hobbylobby #secretsanta #presents
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