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A Cowboy and Me

by Tammy Gilbert - Story Teller & Published Author, Decorator & Aesthetician

His Lethal Weapon

January 8, 2023 by Tammy Gilbert

Every. Single. Time.

You all know that there is no love loss between me and the “traveling” Cowboy. And I promise I’m not being dramatic (like I usually am). When I say it’s a disaster traveling with him, I promise it is. Just ask our kids. They’ll quickly jump to my side on this one. At one point Boy wonder asked me why I keep inviting him. I told him that it’s important for his dad to cross the cattle guard and experience life. And besides, he needs to be in the family trip photos. Boy Wonder said for me to photoshop him in and spare them all. I’ve pondered that but decided I need him on our trips so he can carry my luggage and shopping bags. Heehee.

Anyhoo, back to the story-

As I mentioned, there is always a mishap when he’s invited on a trip. Let’s not mistake the “traveling” Cowboy with the Cowboy that I get on 4G. Two totally different dudes. But, I have resigned myself to the fact that if I want one, I have to accept the other. Lord help me. Luckily for him, both of my cowboys look good in their wranglers. (Insert heart emoji here).

It doesn’t matter if we travel by plane, train or automobile. Something is going to happen. Sometimes I wonder if the “traveling Gods” are up there drinking a beer and laughing as they watch us travel together.

Let me set the scene for ya-

We’re at the Austin airport in the TSA line. I start removing my jacket, shoes etc and wait my turn to go thru the x-ray machine. I have a question about this process… why do travelers go thru it barefoot? Do they not know that there are thousands of travelers that do the same and they’re walking thru other peoples foot sweat, fungal issues and a host of other cooties? G.R.O.S.S.

Anyhoo, back to the story.

I whiz right thru security and begin to put myself back together. I look over my shoulder to check on Cowboy and I notice that they have pulled him aside after he had gone thru the x-ray machine. I casually walk over to the TSA agents who are speaking to Cowboy.

TSA AGENT #1: Sir, I’m going to need you to step aside for a full body search.

COWBOY: You need to do what?

TSA AGENT #2: We need to search your groin and buttock areas. Something showed up on the x-ray machine.

COWBOY: Say that one more time.

TSA AGENT #3: The x-ray machine showed a foreign object in your groin area and the buttock region. Would you like us to escort you into a private room for the search or can we do it out here?

COWBOY: (Pulling his Wranglers higher and puffing his chest out) Nope. You can search me out here. That way EVERYONE knows I have a lethal weapon in my groin area.

ME: (Speaking to Cowboy) Can you lower your voice? People are starting to stare. And, I thought you didn’t bring your knife with you?

COWBOY: I didn’t. Apparently I have a lethal weapon in my groin area.

ME: (Rubbing my temples) They did not say anything about a lethal weapon in your groin area.

COWBOY: I’m pretty sure they did.

ME: You’re feeling pretty macho right about now aren’t ya?

COWBOY: Yep.

TSA AGENT #1: Sir, please step this way. We’ll begin the search know.

COWBOY: (Speaking to the agents and pointing to me) That’s my wife. Ask her about my lethal weapon in my groin area.

ME: (Shaking my head and speaking to Cowboy) You’re going to tell everyone about this, aren’t ya?

COWBOY: Yep. And I’m starting with Boy Wonder. He needs to know that he comes from good stock.

ME: Besides the fact that you think you have a lethal weapon in your groin area, I know exactly what’s in your buttock region because you’re full of it!

COWBOY: Can we talk more about my lethal weapon?

ME: For the love of God, Jesus and bananas, here we go again.

xo, Tammy

Filed Under: A Cowboy and Me Blog, Blog

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About Tammy

Hi there- I love sharing my crazy life about living in the middle of Pidcoke, Texas with my Cowboy.Β  If I'm not scraping the cow poop off of my cheetah print stilettos then you can find me blogging, decorating or helping women feel beautiful at my spa! I hope you enjoy my stories- 𝔁𝓸, 𝓣π“ͺ𝓢𝓢𝔂 β₯

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tammydalynn

π•Šπ•₯𝕠𝕣π•ͺ π•₯𝕖𝕝𝕝𝕖𝕣/𝔻𝕖𝕔𝕠𝕣𝕒π•₯𝕠𝕣/π•Šπ•‘π•’ π•†π•¨π•Ÿπ•–π•£πŸ’‹
Texas girlβ˜€οΈPassion: Inspiring others thru style & beautyπŸ’„In πŸ’œwith my Cowboy🧑 Medical Aesthetician🌷

π’―π’Άπ“‚π“‚π“Ž π’Ÿπ’Άπ“π“Žπ“ƒπ“ƒ
π•Žπ”Έβ„‚π•‚π• 𝕋𝕆𝔹𝔸ℂ𝕂𝕐 A π•Žπ”Έβ„‚π•‚π• 𝕋𝕆𝔹𝔸ℂ𝕂𝕐 
And then it happens. Just like it always does when Cowboy is gone overnight… I begin to hear things. Things that go bump in the night. Things that I just know will come inside thru the doggie door and get me. And then I remember ….

I hop off of the couch and head to my bathroom to find what Sweet Girl gave me to sleep. I don’t bother reading the package since she has already instructed me to have only one gummy. I pop one in my mouth.…

𝐕𝐒𝐬𝐒𝐭 𝐦𝐲 π°πžπ›π¬π’π­πž 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐭𝐑𝐞 𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐑𝐞 𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐲-

https://www.acowboyandme.com/wacky-tobacky/
TammyπŸ’‹#texasromance #lovestory #cowboys #cavenders #wranglers #nfr #rodeo #relationshipgoals
β„π•šπ•€ 𝕃𝕖π•₯𝕙𝕒𝕝 π•Žπ•–π•’π•‘π• π•Ÿ

I whiz right thru security and begin to put myself back together. I look over my shoulder to check on Cowboy and I notice that they have pulled him aside after he had gone thru the x-ray machine. I casually walk over to the TSA agents who are speaking to Cowboy.

TSA AGENT #1: Sir, I’m going to need you to step aside for a full body…

π—©π—Άπ˜€π—Άπ˜ π—Ίπ˜† 𝗯𝗹𝗼𝗴 𝗳𝗼𝗿 π˜π—΅π—² π—Ώπ—²π˜€π˜ 𝗼𝗳 π˜π—΅π—² π˜€π˜π—Όπ—Ώπ˜†

https://www.acowboyandme.com/his-lethal-weapon/

xo, TammyπŸ’‹#cowboys #texasromance #cavenders #wrangler #relationshipgoals #texaslovestory #falllove #lovestory
β€œπ•‹π•™π•–π•ͺ” π•šπ•€ 𝕑𝕝𝕦𝕣𝕒𝕝

Have ya ever bought something that you are SUPER excited about but thought that maybe your hubby would need a little convincing to share in your excitement? Yeah, I get it... happens to me all of the time. Sooo… we’re in Las Vegas at the NFR and I’m walking out of the "Cowboy Christmas" convention center to meet up with Cowboy. He’s looking me up and down. My mind immediately goes to the ...

𝐕𝐒𝐬𝐒𝐭 𝐦𝐲 𝐛π₯𝐨𝐠 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐭𝐑𝐞 𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐑𝐞 𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐲-

https://www.acowboyandme.com/they-is-plural/
Merry Christmas πŸŽ„ 
TammyπŸ’‹
#texas #texasromance #lovestory #cavenders #relationshipgoals #cowboys #cowboylove #merrychristmas
Umm… excuse me Mr. Hobby Lobby, If you’re goin Umm… excuse me Mr. Hobby Lobby,
If you’re going to continue selling super cute holiday items… I’m gonna need you to bring in larger shopping carts… there I said it!πŸŽ„#acowboyandme #holidaycheer #hobbylobby #secretsanta #presents
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