Let me start this post off by saying:
MAMA COWS DO NOT PLAY WELL WITH OTHERS!
Owning land and livestock gives a cowboy a pretty long “to do” list. I do not think one person needs to tackle that list on their own because it is never ending! Chores like feeding the cattle, vaccinating them, and counting them….yes I know… it’s strange, but cows have to be counted once, sometimes twice a day. Imagine if that is your only job. The ultimate cow counter! One cow, 2 cows, three and four cows (hilarious).
Cowboy’s list is ongoing. There are chores that need to be done daily, weekly, monthly and even yearly. So, being the good wife that I am, occasionally I will offer my assistance. Cowboy knows that I am his #1 cowhand, unless our “boy wonder” is around, or his dad, or the neighbor. Come to think of it, it seems that I am ALWAYS his last resort. The other day I asked Cowboy why he doesn’t want me to help more often and he says it takes him twice as long to finish something if I’m involved. What is that all about?!
To my surprise, on one VERY cold, drizzly November day, Cowboy came inside to ask me what I was doing?
Let me just set this scene for ya- I’m wearing my most comfortable cheetah print leggings, my Uggs and a brown pullover. Let’s continue…
ME: I’m sitting in front of this awesome fire that you built, reading a book and drinking some hot tea.
COWBOY: Are you ready to play cowgirl? I need some help with branding our cattle.
ME: It’s cold and drizzly outside, are you sure you want me to help and not your dad or boy wonder?
COWBOY: Nope, you’re always wanting to help, so it’s your turn.
ME: Ok, what do I need to wear? Should I put on rain boots? Will I get dirty?
COWBOY: A coat, yes and probably. (my man of few words)
So I bundle up and head out into the cold (thinking to myself…me and my big mouth). And let me tell ya, this is NOT what I pictured doing on this perfect day of “STAY INSIDE” weather! But, I will not back down from this challenge! I join Cowboy in the barn and he tells me the plan. We are going to brand our cattle (which sounds absolutely barbaric to me). But a wife’s gotta do, what a wife’s gotta do! My job was to NOT let any cows go past me so we can pen them.
Being the smart person that I am (this blonde hair is totally fake); I begin to assess the situation and immediately think he has chosen the wrong cowgirl for this job. Cowboy says the cows are just as afraid of us as we are of them. Ummm, I’m not so sure about that. He said, “they probably won’t come close to where you’re standing BUT if they do, wave your arms up and down” Apparently that would be a good deterrent… so he says.
With Cowboy on one end and me on the other (near the fence) everything is running pretty smoothly. He, of course, is doing the majority of the work, which is ok with me. And you will be happy to know that at that time, I did NOT move from my appointed spot. He yells “Whatever you do, do NOT let them go past you and head towards the fence”! I know this is my first rodeo but jeez, how many times does he feel the need to tell me that? He’s beginning to sound like a broken record!
And then Cowboy yells to tell me he’s sending the cows my way. WAIT… WHAT?! I distinctly remember him telling me that they “probably won’t come near me” and now he’s telling me that they’re coming my way?!
I yell to him, “Are you sure I’m the right person for this”? I look up to see Cowboy rounding the corner, wearing those wranglers, with the cutest little baby cows I’ve ever seen! I begin to relax and say to him “I’ve got this”! He tells me to wave my arms so they’ll go into their pens. Ok, no problem, I can do this, so I start waving and they do exactly that! They look so cute. I yell to Cowboy, “that wasn’t so bad”! Cowboy yells back “hold your stance, here come the mamas”!
Oh my lord, the dust was flying!
Sweet Jesus! Lord, I promise to never make fun of Cowboy AGAIN if you just send a little help my way!
They came alright…those mamas were mad and running as fast as…
to be continued.
‘Til next Sunday Ya’ll