I never know what Cowboy is going to throw at me.
We had both been feeling a little sickly with recurring head colds. I, of course, am always a smidge sicker than him. Why is that? He always says it’s because I need to build up my immunity and suggests that I roll around in cow manure. He says that cures everything. I think I’ll pass on that one.
I asked him to run to the store to pick up some cold medicine. Let me remind you that “running” anywhere out here on green acres takes a hot minute. It’s a good twenty to thirty minutes to the nearest store, depending on which direction you point your car.
Cowboy returns with something in his hand five minutes later.
ME: There is no way you went to the store and back in five minutes. I’m almost afraid to ask but what’s that in your hand?
COWBOY: (Sitting on the edge of the bed holding a spoon in his hand) I think I found something that will help you feel better. Here take this.
ME: (Looking at him a little unsure) What is it?
COWBOY: Just take it and it will solve all of your problems.
As I was taking the spoon from him, I thought to myself, look at him being so cute and caring. I swallowed the white paste and immediately ran to the kitchen for a paper towel. I started wiping my tongue off and quickly as I could.
Sweet Jesus y’all. That was the WORST tasting medicine I’ve ever had…in my life! It tasted like apple cider vinegar times 10. And, I’m not being dramatic like I usually am.
ME: For the love of God, Jesus and bananas! What the heck? That was disgusting. What was it?
COWBOY: Horse de-wormer. Drastic times call for drastic measures princess.
ME: I can’t believe you gave me horse de-wormer. That’s not funny! Did you take some?
COWBOY: I was going to, but now that I see it tastes that bad, I think I’ll pass.
ME: (Giving him my worst stink-eye look) Let me tell you something, if I poo out a tape worm and start gaining weight because of this, you’re gonna need to put that sucker right back inside me because I’m not having that…kapeesh?
COWBOY: That sounds disgusting. I think I’ll refuse to participate.
ME: Yeah, well, drastic times call for drastic measures.
’til next Sunday y’all- Tammy❥