As we celebrate the birthdays of Boy Wonder and Sweet Girl, I’m reminded of the ONE job Cowboy had as a coach in getting them here – It’s happened!
After 9 months of anticipation the day has finally arrived. Boy Wonder would be making his debut. His nursery was stocked full of “all things boy”. Bears, deer and plenty of toys. All we needed was a baby to go in it. Sweet Girl couldn’t wait to be a big sister (until she decided it would be best to trade him in for a kitten, but that’s another story).
Speaking of our Sweet Girl, when we were preparing for her arrival everything went as planned. Well, except for the time when we were almost kicked out of our Lamaze class, thanks to Cowboy. All I can say is that some people get his sense of humor and some don’t. Back to Boy Wonder-I told Cowboy that this time around his only job was to follow the rules that I gave him. He only had 3 of them so it shouldn’t had been too hard.
Rule #1 Feed me when I’m hungry.
Rule #2 Get me to the right floor at the hospital.
Rule #3 No popping wheelies in a wheelchair.
There’s a story behind Rule #3 (but that’s for another time.)December 26th (Talking to Cowboy) My contractions have started and they’re coming fast! I think we should head to the hospital.
COWBOY: Are you sure?
ME: (Giving him the stink eye) This is not my first rodeo, so stop asking dumb questions.
COWBOY: Alrighty then! It’s on like donkey kong! Let’s go have us a baby.
As we pull into the parking lot of the hospital, I quickly realize that he had NO IDEA where to go. This is where I refer back to Rule #2.
ME: Did you call the hospital to find out where labor and delivery is?
COWBOY: Why did I need to call? We can figure this out by ourselves.
ME: Oh my Lord! I know that men don’t ask for directions nor do they want instructions BUT you should have researched this already. AND, unless you want to deliver this baby, you better do your job!
He pulls up to the front of North entrance, drops me off so he can park. As we start towards the elevator I look over at him-
ME: You look really good in those wranglers by the way. Sweet Jesus…here comes another contraction. This is all your fault!
COWBOY: Whoa, to be so sweet you get mean when you’re having contractions.
ME: What do you mean? And don’t talk to me like that!
We get in the elevator and Cowboy turns to me and asks “What floor do we need?”
ME: Are you freakin kidding me? I’m trying to keep this baby from coming out and you don’t know where Labor & Delivery is? For your sake you better hope I don’t have this baby in the elevator!
COWBOY: Can you calm down?
Ok folks, that is the worst thing to say to a woman that’s about ready to push a tree stump out of her privates.
Two hours later- Boy Wonder makes his entrance and all is forgiven.
‘Til next Sunday y’all- xo, Tammy
