Cowboy had one job, ONE JOB!
It’s happened! After 9 months of anticipation the day had finally arrived! Boy Wonder would be making his debut. His nursery was stocked full of “all things boy”. Bears, deer and plenty of toys. All we needed was a baby to go in it. To say that we were excited was an understatement! Sweet Girl couldn’t wait to be a big sister.
Speaking of our Sweet Girl, when Cowboy and I had her everything went as planned… until it came time for our Lamaze class. For those of you that know Cowboy, at times he has a dry sense of humor. Some folks get it and some folks don’t. This was one of the “don’ts”. After almost getting kicked out of the class, it was touch and go as to whether or not I was going to kill me a cowboy and become a single parent. But, then I decided he would make a great dad…and he was really cute.
Back to Boy Wonder-
I told him that this time around he only had ONE JOB and that was to following the rules that I gave him.
He only had 3 of them so it shouldn’t had been too hard.
Rule #1 Feed me when I’m hungry.
Rule #2 Get me to the right floor at the hospital.
Rule #3 No popping wheelies in a wheelchair. There’s a story behind Rule #3 (but that’s for another time.)
ME: (Talking to Cowboy) My contractions have started and they’re coming fast! I think we should head to the hospital.
COWBOY: I’ll call my parents to come and get Sweet Girl!
ME: Let’s speed this rodeo up cowboy because these contractions are coming fast!
COWBOY: Alrighty then! It’s on like donkey kong! Let’s go have us a baby!
As we pull into the parking lot of the hospital, we quickly realize that there had been some serious remodeling. Not only did they add more parking lots, as in 4, but they also added 2 new buildings!
I’ll refer back to Rule #2-
ME: Did you call the hospital to find out where labor and delivery is?
COWBOY: Why did I need to call? We can figure this out by ourselves.
ME: Listen up dude, I know that men don’t ask for directions but this is not the time to act all macho! Unless you want to deliver this baby, you better figure it out…and fast!
As we start towards the elevator I look over at COWBOY-
ME: You look really good in those wranglers by the way. Oh Jesus…here comes another contraction! This is all your fault!
COWBOY: Whoa, to be so sweet you get mean when you’re having contractions.
ME: What do you mean?! And don’t talk to me like that!
We get in the elevator and Cowboy turns to me and asks “What floor do we need?”
ME: Are you freakin kidding me? I’m trying to keep this baby from coming out and you don’t know where Labor & Delivery is? I’m about to hit you over the head with my cheetah print diaper bag. YOU’RE supposed to be THE COACH!! Fyi…I’m NOT doing this again with you! You stink as a coach! I’m calling my dad! –
‘Til next Sunday y’all- Tammy