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A Cowboy and Me

by Tammy Gilbert - Story Teller & Published Author, Decorator & Aesthetician

The 50 Year Plague

September 30, 2018 by Tammy Gilbert

For all of you beautiful, smart, kind and strong ladies out there-

Age is just a number; live your life, make your memories and be fierce.

Ladies I’m just gonna come out say it-

EVERYONE NEEDS TO CALM DOWN ABOUT TURNING 50!

It can not be that big of deal! There I said it!  It’s just a number and I’ve been sporting this number since January 28th.

Let me back up just a minute…as I approached 50, my friends would say “just wait until you turn 50” things will start to fall apart!  They mentioned weight gain, memory loss, thinning nails &  hair, cellulite and changes in your vision.

So I decided to out-smart that 50 year “plague”. Especially since I do not like weight gain, the memory loss may have started at 45, so no surprise there.  Have you seen my hair? I would welcome a little thinning.  Cellulite never looked good on anyone, especially this gal. And unless readers come in cheetah print, I’m not interested.

My new motto became “pick an age and stick with it”.  And I chose age 45.  That was such a fun year for me. The kids were starting their own lives.  My business was busier than ever.  And, I’d never felt better, mentally and physically.  So I decided to hang on to being 45 since I wasn’t entirely finished with it.  Then I realized that if I didn’t move from that age,  I would have been 15 years old when I popped out my Sweet Girl.  How scandalous!

Age 46 thru 49 whizzed by so fast that I’m not even sure I blew out my birthday candles before I was sitting in front of the next year’s birthday cake. And before I realized it, I was staring 50 right in the eye. Listen I know I’m a blonde AND I can be a little slow on the uptake but isn’t it just another year of wonderful memories that will be added to my previous ones?  And color me curious but why is 50 the magic number for women to fall apart? Do men also get a number?  Because from where I sit Cowboy looks better and better with each added year…especially those wranglers of his.  It’s probably because he’s married to me and I bring sunshine into his life.  Occasionally he forgets and I feel the need to remind him.

Each year that passes, a woman needs to have a check up just to make sure that things are on the “up and up”.  If you are one of those women that keep putting your yearly checkup aside, and you know who you are, now is the time to get off your badonkydonk and GET IT SCHEDULED!

It just so happened that I scheduled my checkup as well as my eye exam for last week.

I check in at the front desk for my first appointment of the day:

DESK CLERK: Hi Mrs. Gilbert, what is your date of birth for verification?

ME: Hi, it’s 01-28-68.

DESK CLERK: Oh wow, you’re 50? I hope I look as good as you do when I get that age.

ME: Umm, thanks?

From there I’m escorted into my room to change into a gown.  Ok I just have one question…why can’t someone design something a little more flattering to wear?  Like maybe something in a primary color…say cheetah print? I’m just throwing that out there.

I hear a knock on the door and in comes my doctor.

DOCTOR:  Hi Tammy, how has it been since you’ve turned 50?

ME:  Great!  It’s just a number, no big deal.

DOCTOR:  I’m glad you’re so positive.  I see that you’ve gained a pound since your last visit.  I know you like chocolate but let’s be cautious of weight gain. Also, it’s time for you to get a shingle shot.

ME:  Isn’t that for older people?

DOCTOR:  Well you are 50 and that’s when we recommend getting your first vaccination. I’m also scheduling you for your first colonoscopy.

ME:  Hold on a minute! Are you kidding me? A colonoscopy? I’m just going to walk out that door and when I come back in I’ll be 49 again.

DOCTOR:  You always make me laugh when you’re here.  Here are your prescriptions and we’ll get that colonoscopy scheduled.

ME: Yeah, haha.

That afternoon I arrive at my optometry appointment-

EYE DOCTOR:  (As she’s looking at my chart) I see that you turned 50 not too long ago? Have you noticed any changes in your vision?

ME:  Only that things are not as clear close up.  I’ve been doing more computer work so maybe that’s the reason. But everything else is great!

EYE DOCTOR: (smiling)  I think it’s more that your vision is slipping, that usually happens as we age.  We’re going to fit you for readers.

ME:  Readers? Listen doctor, I am only 50 and I don’t think readers are quite necessary.

EYE DOCTOR:  Yes they are and wait until you turn 60. That age is loads of fun also!

ME:  Sweet Jesus.

’til next Sunday y’all- Tammy

 

Filed Under: A Cowboy and Me Blog, Blog

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About Tammy

Hi there- I love sharing my crazy life about living in the middle of Pidcoke, Texas with my Cowboy.  If I'm not scraping the cow poop off of my cheetah print stilettos then you can find me blogging, decorating or helping women feel beautiful at my spa! I hope you enjoy my stories- 𝔁𝓸, 𝓣𝓪𝓶𝓶𝔂 ❥

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tammydalynn

𝕊𝕥𝕠𝕣𝕪 𝕥𝕖𝕝𝕝𝕖𝕣/𝔻𝕖𝕔𝕠𝕣𝕒𝕥𝕠𝕣/𝕊𝕡𝕒 𝕆𝕨𝕟𝕖𝕣💋
Texas girl☀️Passion: Inspiring others thru style & beauty💄In 💜with my Cowboy🧡 Medical Aesthetician🌷

𝒯𝒶𝓂𝓂𝓎 𝒟𝒶𝓁𝓎𝓃𝓃
𝕎𝔸ℂ𝕂𝕐 𝕋𝕆𝔹𝔸ℂ𝕂𝕐 A 𝕎𝔸ℂ𝕂𝕐 𝕋𝕆𝔹𝔸ℂ𝕂𝕐 
And then it happens. Just like it always does when Cowboy is gone overnight… I begin to hear things. Things that go bump in the night. Things that I just know will come inside thru the doggie door and get me. And then I remember ….

I hop off of the couch and head to my bathroom to find what Sweet Girl gave me to sleep. I don’t bother reading the package since she has already instructed me to have only one gummy. I pop one in my mouth.…

𝐕𝐢𝐬𝐢𝐭 𝐦𝐲 𝐰𝐞𝐛𝐬𝐢𝐭𝐞 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐲-

https://www.acowboyandme.com/wacky-tobacky/
Tammy💋#texasromance #lovestory #cowboys #cavenders #wranglers #nfr #rodeo #relationshipgoals
ℍ𝕚𝕤 𝕃𝕖𝕥𝕙𝕒𝕝 𝕎𝕖𝕒𝕡𝕠𝕟

I whiz right thru security and begin to put myself back together. I look over my shoulder to check on Cowboy and I notice that they have pulled him aside after he had gone thru the x-ray machine. I casually walk over to the TSA agents who are speaking to Cowboy.

TSA AGENT #1: Sir, I’m going to need you to step aside for a full body…

𝗩𝗶𝘀𝗶𝘁 𝗺𝘆 𝗯𝗹𝗼𝗴 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗿𝗲𝘀𝘁 𝗼𝗳 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘀𝘁𝗼𝗿𝘆

https://www.acowboyandme.com/his-lethal-weapon/

xo, Tammy💋#cowboys #texasromance #cavenders #wrangler #relationshipgoals #texaslovestory #falllove #lovestory
“𝕋𝕙𝕖𝕪” 𝕚𝕤 𝕡𝕝𝕦𝕣𝕒𝕝

Have ya ever bought something that you are SUPER excited about but thought that maybe your hubby would need a little convincing to share in your excitement? Yeah, I get it... happens to me all of the time. Sooo… we’re in Las Vegas at the NFR and I’m walking out of the "Cowboy Christmas" convention center to meet up with Cowboy. He’s looking me up and down. My mind immediately goes to the ...

𝐕𝐢𝐬𝐢𝐭 𝐦𝐲 𝐛𝐥𝐨𝐠 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐲-

https://www.acowboyandme.com/they-is-plural/
Merry Christmas 🎄 
Tammy💋
#texas #texasromance #lovestory #cavenders #relationshipgoals #cowboys #cowboylove #merrychristmas
Umm… excuse me Mr. Hobby Lobby, If you’re goin Umm… excuse me Mr. Hobby Lobby,
If you’re going to continue selling super cute holiday items… I’m gonna need you to bring in larger shopping carts… there I said it!🎄#acowboyandme #holidaycheer #hobbylobby #secretsanta #presents
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