♪ ♪ ♪ ʙᴀ ᴅᴏᴘ, ʙᴀ ᴅᴏᴘ, ʙᴀ ᴅᴏᴘ, ʙᴀ ᴅᴏᴘ, ʙᴀ ᴅᴏᴘ…..ᴅᴀ ʙᴀ ᴅᴀ ʙᴀ ᴅᴀ ♪ ♪ ♪
When Cowboy is asleep I try to be quiet. I promise I really do. Whether he’s in the bed, in Lolita’s arms or outside under the shade. I try my hardest to be quiet. Almost like Pink Panther (but with eyelashes). Especially when he’s snoring. Which he does a lot. I don’t understand people that snore. I’m certainly not one of those. I have visions of myself sleeping like Sleeping Beauty with my hair and makeup picture perfect. But that’s another story. Lol.
Anyhoo, the other night Cowboy had fallen asleep while we were supposed to be binge watching our current Netflix show. So I decided to turn off the t.v. and leave him sleeping. I figured that maybe if he awakens with a stiff neck it would teach him a lesson as to not fall asleep while we are supposed to be bonding. I got up from where I was sitting, sneaked over to him (while humming the Pink Panther song in my head) and grabbed the remote off of his lap. He didn’t even flinch. He opened one eye and said-
COWBOY: What are you doing?
ME: I’m being quiet so I don’t wake you.
COWBOY: (Chuckling) It didn’t work. You make more noise when you’re trying to be quiet than anybody else I know.
ME: No I don’t. I’ll show you.
I start tip toeing just like the Pink Panther while I sing its theme song.
♪ ♪ ♪ ʙᴀ ᴅᴏᴘ, ʙᴀ ᴅᴏᴘ, ʙᴀ ᴅᴏᴘ, ʙᴀ ᴅᴏᴘ, ʙᴀ ᴅᴏᴘ…..ᴅᴀ ʙᴀ ᴅᴀ ʙᴀ ᴅᴀ ♪ ♪ ♪
COWBOY: What in the heck kind of dance is that and what are you singing?
ME: Seriously? You don’t recognize the song?
COWBOY: I’ve seriously never heard a song like that.
ME: It’s me imitating the Pink Panther.
COWBOY: That is not the Pink Panther song. And, just so you know, I hear AND see you every time you use the restroom at night.
ME: What do you mean?
COWBOY: You turn every friggin light on while you’re headin’ to the restroom and you’re always banging into things.
ME: I turn on the lights because I don’t want to step on a scorpion. You know how I am about those creepy crawleys. And, it’s not like I’m making noise on purpose!
COWBOY: I’m just tellin’ ya, you’re allergic to being quiet. And we haven’t seen a scorpion in a long time.
ME: Don’t say that. You’ll jinx us. And by the way mister, I’m going to prove you wrong.
COWBOY: Good luck with that.
The next night-
Cowboy is asleep in the bed and I needed to use the bathroom. I slowly uncover myself, put one leg down on the floor and then the other. I start humming the Pink Panther song again…
♪ ♪ ♪ ʙᴀ ᴅᴏᴘ, ʙᴀ ᴅᴏᴘ, ʙᴀ ᴅᴏᴘ, ʙᴀ ᴅᴏᴘ, ʙᴀ ᴅᴏᴘ…..ᴅᴀ ʙᴀ ᴅᴀ ʙᴀ ᴅᴀ ♪ ♪ ♪
I thought to myself…easy peasy. I won’t make a sound or turn a light on. I’ll show him!
I started walking towards the bathroom using the wall as a guide. I must have miscounted my steps because all of a sudden I was tripping over the fireplace poker set and I fell flat on my bumm.
COWBOY: (Flipping the light on as he leans against the door jam) What are you doing?
ME: I was trying to be quiet.
COWBOY: (Bending down to help me up) I’ve told ya that you’re allergic to being quiet.
ME: (Mimicking him and rubbing my hiney) You’re allergic to being quiet. Blah Blah Blah.
’til next Sunday y’all- Tammy❥
