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A Cowboy and Me

by Tammy Gilbert - Story Teller & Published Author, Decorator & Aesthetician

Juan Paco

September 16, 2018 by Tammy Gilbert

Remember when I wrote to you about Cowboy having a love affair with Lolita? I have to confess…it wasn’t his first affair.  I know, I know, one would think that a smart guy like Cowboy would have figured it out and one also KNOWS that I would not tolerate such behavior.

Ok, everyone just calm down!  I’m talking recliners here, not women.  If it were women, I can assure you that after I hit him over the head with a cast iron skillet,  I would chop him up and scatter his parts from here to Montana! And I have plenty of gal pals who would help…except Sheena.  She already told me that she would refuse to participate.  She’s such a good human. Everyone needs a Sheena in their life!

So, back to the man-stealer-

Juanita was a hand-me-down from someone…I can’t even remember who but let me tell ya, the minute she came into our house, I knew she was trouble. Cowboy was always with her.  Sleeping, eating and watching tv.  But forget about those conversations that ended with him snoring while I was sitting next to him telling him about my day.  The real issue is this…how in the world do you rearrange your furniture with a recliner in the mix?  Y’all know I love to decorate and I can be pretty creative BUT there is no getting around that ginormous ugly thing.  Recliners should be outlawed just for their looks alone!   I just don’t understand the fixation about men and their recliners. Cowboy says it’s the most comfortable seat in the house.  I disagree, I have a cheetah print chair that would put his Juanita to shame!

Sadly (or not) after four years Juanita started to die a slow death. Poor Juanita.  She looked like she belonged in a pledge house somewhere in the middle of Texas A&M’s campus.  She had been ducked taped, wired and lord knows what else!

ME: (Speaking to Cowboy about Juanita) You have got to do something with that god-awful thing!

COWBOY:  What do you mean?  There’s nothing wrong with her.

ME:  Seriously? She’s in terrible condition!  You have to kick her for the foot rest to pop up.

COWBOY: (chuckling) She’s got plenty of life left in her. Why don’t you try her out?

ME:  Yea right, like that’s going to happen! No thanks!

The next afternoon as I was getting my feng shui on by re-arranging the furniture for the umptinth time, I accidentally stubbed my toe on the corner of Juanita, “stupid chair” I said out loud! I then decided to take a break and sit in Cowboy’s “stupid” chair.  Saying to myself how ridiculous it is a man can become so attached to a dumb chair. A chair that you have to hold the arm while you kick the leg rest for it to get in a reclining position. Good Lord, this is nuts!

A few hours later-

COWBOY: (Whispering in my ear)  Wake up princess.

ME: (Stretching as I’m standing) I’ll be right back.

COWBOY:  Where are you going?

ME: To order me a Juan Paco.

COWBOY:  A who?

ME:  Juanita’s future husband.

’til next Sunday y’all- Tammy

 

Filed Under: A Cowboy and Me Blog, Blog

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About Tammy

Hi there- I love sharing my crazy life about living in the middle of Pidcoke, Texas with my Cowboy.  If I'm not scraping the cow poop off of my cheetah print stilettos then you can find me blogging, decorating or helping women feel beautiful at my spa! I hope you enjoy my stories- 𝔁𝓸, 𝓣𝓪𝓶𝓶𝔂 ❥

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