Remember when I wrote to you about Cowboy having a love affair with Lolita? I have to confess…it wasn’t his first affair. I know, I know, one would think that a smart guy like Cowboy would have figured it out and one also KNOWS that I would not tolerate such behavior.
Ok, everyone just calm down! I’m talking recliners here, not women. If it were women, I can assure you that after I hit him over the head with a cast iron skillet, I would chop him up and scatter his parts from here to Montana! And I have plenty of gal pals who would help…except Sheena. She already told me that she would refuse to participate. She’s such a good human. Everyone needs a Sheena in their life!
So, back to the man-stealer-
Juanita was a hand-me-down from someone…I can’t even remember who but let me tell ya, the minute she came into our house, I knew she was trouble. Cowboy was always with her. Sleeping, eating and watching tv. But forget about those conversations that ended with him snoring while I was sitting next to him telling him about my day. The real issue is this…how in the world do you rearrange your furniture with a recliner in the mix? Y’all know I love to decorate and I can be pretty creative BUT there is no getting around that ginormous ugly thing. Recliners should be outlawed just for their looks alone! I just don’t understand the fixation about men and their recliners. Cowboy says it’s the most comfortable seat in the house. I disagree, I have a cheetah print chair that would put his Juanita to shame!
Sadly (or not) after four years Juanita started to die a slow death. Poor Juanita. She looked like she belonged in a pledge house somewhere in the middle of Texas A&M’s campus. She had been ducked taped, wired and lord knows what else!
ME: (Speaking to Cowboy about Juanita) You have got to do something with that god-awful thing!
COWBOY: What do you mean? There’s nothing wrong with her.
ME: Seriously? She’s in terrible condition! You have to kick her for the foot rest to pop up.
COWBOY: (chuckling) She’s got plenty of life left in her. Why don’t you try her out?
ME: Yea right, like that’s going to happen! No thanks!
The next afternoon as I was getting my feng shui on by re-arranging the furniture for the umptinth time, I accidentally stubbed my toe on the corner of Juanita, “stupid chair” I said out loud! I then decided to take a break and sit in Cowboy’s “stupid” chair. Saying to myself how ridiculous it is a man can become so attached to a dumb chair. A chair that you have to hold the arm while you kick the leg rest for it to get in a reclining position. Good Lord, this is nuts!
A few hours later-
COWBOY: (Whispering in my ear) Wake up princess.
ME: (Stretching as I’m standing) I’ll be right back.
COWBOY: Where are you going?
ME: To order me a Juan Paco.
COWBOY: A who?
ME: Juanita’s future husband.
’til next Sunday y’all- Tammy
