If you missed the blog from last Sunday, click here . If not, then grab some tea and enjoy the read. (I totally just made that rhyme up…yay me!)
ME: (speaking to Cowboy as we board the cruise ship) I’m a seasoned cruiser. I don’t do sea sick and besides, we’re supposed to have great weather the whole trip.
COWBOY: That’s not what I heard.
ME: Stop being a negative Nancy. We are going to have so much fun!
As we gathered for our embarkation drills, I noticed the ship had started swaying.
ME: (speaking to Cowboy) I bet it smooths out once we leave port. Did you take your Dramamine? I would hate for you to be sick in the cabin the whole time.
COWBOY: Yes I took it and I’d probably have just as much fun in the cabin as I would out of the cabin.
Sometimes actions speak louder than words. Sooo… I stuck my tongue out at him.
And then he stuck his out at me.
After getting settled in our cabin, we decided to explore the ship.
My first priority- locate the spa. Cowboy’s first priority- locate the emergency exits.
As we were on our way to see about excursions the captain’s voice comes on the speaker-
“Hello and welcome aboard Carnival Cruise Lines, I am Captain (I forgot his name). We will be sailing to Progresso and Cozumel on your 5 day cruise. This cruise ship will be traveling at 18-20 knots per hour. Eighteen if we run into unpleasant weather and twenty for smooth sailing.
ME: (Looking at Cowboy) Unpleasant weather?
COWBOY: That’s what I was trying to tell you earlier.
ME: We’ll be having so much fun, a little bad weather won’t faze us one bit.
After chatting with friends we head back to our cabin to get dressed for dinner.
As I’m putting on my earrings, I notice that my stomach starts to feel a little queasy. I’m sure it’ll pass. I never get sick on cruises.
At dinner I ate my way through all kinds of hors d’ oeuvres, main dishes and desserts… endless buffet, pfft. I was in it to win it, y’all.
Some ten minutes later I excused myself to the powder room because something just wasn’t setting right in my stomach.
I got there just in time because up came the hors d’ oeuvres, up came the lobster and up came the desserts.
I’m here to tell y’all there is no way to throw up all of that… like a lady. Absolutely no way. I had mascara down on my chin from my eyes watering, snot was coming out of my nose and my poppy red Chanel lipstick was smeared from here to yonder. I’m pretty sure I resembled the Joker. I was an absolute mess.
I sent Cowboy a message that I was heading back to our cabin.
The captain’s voice comes on the intercom again…”Hello folks, we are currently traveling at 17 knots per hour due to some storms ahead. It may be a little unsteady thru the night so please be careful as you are walking the ship.”
A little unsteady was an understatement. Have you ever tried to walk graciously in cheetah print stilettos… in a tiny hallway… while a boat was swaying? The more it swayed, the faster I walked. The faster I walked, the dizzier I became. I thought I would never get to cabin 224.
Thirty minutes later and while I was on my third trip of hanging my head over the porcelain throne, Cowboy comes back.
COWBOY: (Holding my hair back) Are we having fun yet because I feel terrific.
ME: As soon as I’m able to stand up , I’m going to poke you in the eyeball.
’til next Sunday y’all- 𝔁𝓸, 𝓣𝓪𝓶𝓶𝔂 ❥