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A Cowboy and Me

by Tammy Gilbert - Story Teller & Published Author, Decorator & Aesthetician

The Cruise from H*** part 2

March 1, 2020 by Tammy Gilbert

If you missed the blog from last Sunday, click here . If not, then grab some tea and enjoy the read. (I totally just made that rhyme up…yay me!)

ME: (speaking to Cowboy as we board the cruise ship) I’m a seasoned cruiser. I don’t do sea sick and besides, we’re supposed to have great weather the whole trip.

COWBOY: That’s not what I heard.

ME: Stop being a negative Nancy. We are going to have so much fun!

As we gathered for our embarkation drills, I noticed the ship had started swaying.

ME: (speaking to Cowboy) I bet it smooths out once we leave port. Did you take your Dramamine? I would hate for you to be sick in the cabin the whole time.

COWBOY: Yes I took it and I’d probably have just as much fun in the cabin as I would out of the cabin.

Sometimes actions speak louder than words. Sooo… I stuck my tongue out at him.

And then he stuck his out at me.

Touche Cowboy.

After getting settled in our cabin, we decided to explore the ship.

My first priority- locate the spa. Cowboy’s first priority- locate the emergency exits.

As we were on our way to see about excursions the captain’s voice comes on the speaker-

“Hello and welcome aboard Carnival Cruise Lines, I am Captain (I forgot his name). We will be sailing to Progresso and Cozumel on your 5 day cruise. This cruise ship will be traveling at 18-20 knots per hour. Eighteen if we run into unpleasant weather and twenty for smooth sailing.

ME: (Looking at Cowboy) Unpleasant weather?

COWBOY: That’s what I was trying to tell you earlier.

ME: We’ll be having so much fun, a little bad weather won’t faze us one bit.

After chatting with friends we head back to our cabin to get dressed for dinner.

As I’m putting on my earrings, I notice that my stomach starts to feel a little queasy. I’m sure it’ll pass. I never get sick on cruises.

At dinner I ate my way through all kinds of hors d’ oeuvres, main dishes and desserts… endless buffet, pfft. I was in it to win it, y’all.

Some ten minutes later I excused myself to the powder room because something just wasn’t setting right in my stomach.

I got there just in time because up came the hors d’ oeuvres, up came the lobster and up came the desserts.

I’m here to tell y’all there is no way to throw up all of that… like a lady. Absolutely no way. I had mascara down on my chin from my eyes watering, snot was coming out of my nose and my poppy red Chanel lipstick was smeared from here to yonder. I’m pretty sure I resembled the Joker. I was an absolute mess.

I sent Cowboy a message that I was heading back to our cabin.

The captain’s voice comes on the intercom again…”Hello folks, we are currently traveling at 17 knots per hour due to some storms ahead. It may be a little unsteady thru the night so please be careful as you are walking the ship.”

A little unsteady was an understatement. Have you ever tried to walk graciously in cheetah print stilettos… in a tiny hallway… while a boat was swaying? The more it swayed, the faster I walked. The faster I walked, the dizzier I became. I thought I would never get to cabin 224.

Thirty minutes later and while I was on my third trip of hanging my head over the porcelain throne, Cowboy comes back.

COWBOY: (Holding my hair back) Are we having fun yet because I feel terrific.

ME: As soon as I’m able to stand up , I’m going to poke you in the eyeball.

’til next Sunday y’all- 𝔁𝓸, 𝓣π“ͺ𝓢𝓢𝔂 β₯

Filed Under: A Cowboy and Me Blog, Blog

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About Tammy

Hi there- I love sharing my crazy life about living in the middle of Pidcoke, Texas with my Cowboy.Β  If I'm not scraping the cow poop off of my cheetah print stilettos then you can find me blogging, decorating or helping women feel beautiful at my spa! I hope you enjoy my stories- 𝔁𝓸, 𝓣π“ͺ𝓢𝓢𝔂 β₯

Recent Posts

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tammydalynn

π•Šπ•₯𝕠𝕣π•ͺ π•₯𝕖𝕝𝕝𝕖𝕣/𝔻𝕖𝕔𝕠𝕣𝕒π•₯𝕠𝕣/π•Šπ•‘π•’ π•†π•¨π•Ÿπ•–π•£πŸ’‹
Texas girlβ˜€οΈPassion: Inspiring others thru style & beautyπŸ’„In πŸ’œwith my Cowboy🧑 Medical Aesthetician🌷

π’―π’Άπ“‚π“‚π“Ž π’Ÿπ’Άπ“π“Žπ“ƒπ“ƒ
π•Žπ”Έβ„‚π•‚π• 𝕋𝕆𝔹𝔸ℂ𝕂𝕐 A π•Žπ”Έβ„‚π•‚π• 𝕋𝕆𝔹𝔸ℂ𝕂𝕐 
And then it happens. Just like it always does when Cowboy is gone overnight… I begin to hear things. Things that go bump in the night. Things that I just know will come inside thru the doggie door and get me. And then I remember ….

I hop off of the couch and head to my bathroom to find what Sweet Girl gave me to sleep. I don’t bother reading the package since she has already instructed me to have only one gummy. I pop one in my mouth.…

𝐕𝐒𝐬𝐒𝐭 𝐦𝐲 π°πžπ›π¬π’π­πž 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐭𝐑𝐞 𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐑𝐞 𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐲-

https://www.acowboyandme.com/wacky-tobacky/
TammyπŸ’‹#texasromance #lovestory #cowboys #cavenders #wranglers #nfr #rodeo #relationshipgoals
β„π•šπ•€ 𝕃𝕖π•₯𝕙𝕒𝕝 π•Žπ•–π•’π•‘π• π•Ÿ

I whiz right thru security and begin to put myself back together. I look over my shoulder to check on Cowboy and I notice that they have pulled him aside after he had gone thru the x-ray machine. I casually walk over to the TSA agents who are speaking to Cowboy.

TSA AGENT #1: Sir, I’m going to need you to step aside for a full body…

π—©π—Άπ˜€π—Άπ˜ π—Ίπ˜† 𝗯𝗹𝗼𝗴 𝗳𝗼𝗿 π˜π—΅π—² π—Ώπ—²π˜€π˜ 𝗼𝗳 π˜π—΅π—² π˜€π˜π—Όπ—Ώπ˜†

https://www.acowboyandme.com/his-lethal-weapon/

xo, TammyπŸ’‹#cowboys #texasromance #cavenders #wrangler #relationshipgoals #texaslovestory #falllove #lovestory
β€œπ•‹π•™π•–π•ͺ” π•šπ•€ 𝕑𝕝𝕦𝕣𝕒𝕝

Have ya ever bought something that you are SUPER excited about but thought that maybe your hubby would need a little convincing to share in your excitement? Yeah, I get it... happens to me all of the time. Sooo… we’re in Las Vegas at the NFR and I’m walking out of the "Cowboy Christmas" convention center to meet up with Cowboy. He’s looking me up and down. My mind immediately goes to the ...

𝐕𝐒𝐬𝐒𝐭 𝐦𝐲 𝐛π₯𝐨𝐠 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐭𝐑𝐞 𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐑𝐞 𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐲-

https://www.acowboyandme.com/they-is-plural/
Merry Christmas πŸŽ„ 
TammyπŸ’‹
#texas #texasromance #lovestory #cavenders #relationshipgoals #cowboys #cowboylove #merrychristmas
Umm… excuse me Mr. Hobby Lobby, If you’re goin Umm… excuse me Mr. Hobby Lobby,
If you’re going to continue selling super cute holiday items… I’m gonna need you to bring in larger shopping carts… there I said it!πŸŽ„#acowboyandme #holidaycheer #hobbylobby #secretsanta #presents
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